Over the course of my personal and professional life, I've learned a lot about what it takes to create what we want.
Especially as a coach, where my role is to help people really pause into what they want for themselves in their health, in their relationships, and in their careers, I've seen all the ways that we can sabotage our own growth.
Today I want to share one of the most common issues that is really disruptive to people when they're wanting to make changes and achieve their goals.
Many of us have been taught that hard work is what gets the job done, and that if you just keep working hard you'll accomplish everything that you've ever wanted.
The only problem with that is that it doesn't usually work. Here's why:
Energy creates energy, and if you're in the energy of things being hard and having to push really hard to make things work, then that is what you're going to experience in the outcome. It won't flow easily, it will be disruptive, it will feel difficult.
A principle that I help my clients really sink into instead is this notion of fine-tuning versus failure.
Failure to me feels like a hard stop. To fail at something, you're in the energy of shame, guilt, disappointment, or worry about the outcome. It feels final, like there's really nothing left to work with there in order to then pick yourself up and get to the next step.
But what if you shifted this notion of failing at something, to seeing everything you experience as fine-tuning?
Here's an example:
I feel really fortunate that our sons are musically-inclined. Our older son plays drums and our younger son plays guitar. I often hear Matthew banging around on his drums when he's trying to get things just right so he can start playing. And our other son Ryan, who plays guitar, will be picking and strumming and really working to bring the guitar into alignment so that the music that he does play eventually will sound gorgeous.
It just reminds me so much of life. Everything you experience–the hardship, the pain, the dissatisfaction, the worry, the fear, the doubt, the stumbling, feeling like we're failing–is really just an opportunity for us to fine-tune, so that we can create the life that we want.
Creating from the energy of fine-tuning, there's less commitment to things being wrong. There's less pressure to be perfect or get it right or land on the one right solution. It feels much more expansive to see that everything we do leads to a really beautiful positive outcome, just like the beautiful music that our boys get to make through drumming and guitar.
In a year that's been really, really hard, it can be important to understand the lessons that have come from it, so that we can grow and evolve and feel more joy in our hearts and then share more love and happiness with other people.
If you will give yourself the opportunity to consider the notion that everything in life is helping you fine-tune the experience that you want to have in life, you might be surprised to discover that you start to feel better about all of it–including your "failures."
Are you ready to enjoy the health and happiness you've always wanted? I'm here to help you finally create your ideal life, one step at a time. Reserve your complimentary consultation today to explore what's possible for you!